Extreme Ironing

Reader Ben (not formally enlisted in Kitchen Patrol) wrote in to give us some kitchen tips:

"My whole life I've always been into multitasking. My latest revelation is that I can cook, clean the kitchen, do laundry (and even iron!) at the same time. I've come to realize how useful an iron is for other duties too. You can make toast with it, fry burgers, and you can even light cigarettes with it if you turn it way up. In a pinch, you can even take out a rogue rodent, which, BTW is kind of problem around here although I'm not really sure why.

The sweet setup shown below is a top shelf Rowenta ironing board I pulled straight from a dumpster in an alley right here in the heart of Hell's Kitchen. A wall mount would be a nice addition as it might help me keep things a little neater.




But the real reason I thought KP readers would be interested is because now that I am cooking ON the ironing board it has drastically reduced my dirty dish/pan load which in turn allows me to keep my kitchen much cleaner. I really really don't like doing the dishes. The only downside is that I am eventually going to obtain a regular supply of ironing board covers as my clothes are starting to get greasy.

Enjoy!!!"

Thanks for the tip Ben. -KP

OLD NEWS (if you are a KP'er that is)

LONDON, England (CNN) -- Scientists have discovered a new species of giant rat in a remote rainforest in Papua New Guinea.

Measuring 82 centimeters (32.2 inches) from nose to tail and weighing around 1.5 kilograms (3.3 pounds), the species is thought to be one of the largest rats ever to be found.

CNN link.

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The KPIA (Kitchen Patrol Intelligence Agency) has known about this particular breed of militarized rats for some time now. Heck, we've even posted about it here: enemy-agent-captured. Look at the guys pants: it's from the SAME photo shoot! Note the DATE of the Kitchen Patrol posting: May 30, 2008--16 months before CNN. CNN is just getting to this critical story that could effect humanity as we know it? Now, tell me, who do you trust for your news? CNN or KP?

And, if you are a regular reader of KP, you already know who is behind it: the mouslings of course. And I have news for you. It is NO WHERE NEAR the largest ever to be found.

Rank Amateurs!

Rotten office fridge cleanup sends 7 to hospital

Play Video AP – Stinky fridge forces Calif. Office evacuation

Tue May 12, 9:01 pm ET

SAN JOSE, Calif. – An office worker cleaning a fridge full of rotten food created a smell so noxious that it sent seven co-workers to the hospital and made many others ill. Firefighters had to evacuate the AT&T building in downtown San Jose on Tuesday, after the flagrant fumes prompted someone to call 911. A hazmat team was called in.

What they found was an unplugged refrigerator that had been crammed with moldy food.

Authorities said an enterprising office worker had decided to clean it out, placing the food in a conference room while using two cleaning chemicals to scrub down the mess. The mixture of old lunches and disinfectant caused 28 people to need treatment for vomiting and nausea.

Authorities said the worker who cleaned the fridge didn't need treatment — she can't smell because of allergies.

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Rank amateurs! Regular readers of Kitchen Patrol would have NO difficulty dealing with this situation. We've all dealt with worse, and didn't end up in the hospital. Leave a comment that explains how YOU would have dealt with this!

Ten-Hut!!!

Help! Advice needed ASAP!

Dear KP,

I have a bit of mess and I don't know where to begin. It's getting worse by the day, and I lay in bed at night just worrying and worrying and fretting about it. I feel paralyzed and helpless. I'm afraid to even go into the kitchen. Please, I need some advice so that I can finally get some sleep!!

-Matt



What do you think windows are for? 3/4 of that stuff can go RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW.

I said NOW soldier!!

Clean but Cluttered?

Private First Class Jeffrey wrote in to say that his voracious following of Kitchen Patrol (KP) finally gave him the courage to clean his kitchen. He was SO proud of his work that he submitted a photo of the results:
Great Job Jeffrey! It looks very clean. Please don't take this the wrong way, but it does appear to be a bit cluttered.

KP has two questions:

1. What is the red "cube" looking thing in the lower center? I understand that it may be bit hard to get to your refrigerator given the slight clutter, but if the red "cube" is a defrosting piece of meat for a pot roast (and I suspect it is), you might want to take care of it before you need your fan (pictured) to deal with it. I see you have a skillet--why don't you fry that puppy up?

2. What were you doing up at 5 am to take the picture (I see the time stamp in the lower right)? If you were UP UNTIL 5 am working on your "cleaning", consider yourself promoted!

Does anyone else in the KP Army have any suggestions for Jeffrey? Is so, please leave a comment. Remember, we are a community here!

Please note: If you are a regular reader of Kitchen Patrol (KP), you will immediately grasp the importance of the following story. If you are not a regular reader of Kitchen Patrol (KP), I suggest that you read all of the KP posts in chronological order right now. The blog archive is over to your right.
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Giant rat caught in China

A giant rat with one-inch-long teeth has been caught in the southern Chinese province of Fujian.

By Malcolm Moore in Shanghai
Last Updated: 12:36PM GMT 18 Feb 2009

Giant rat with one-inch-long teeth has been caught in the southern Chinese province of Fujian Photo: HTTP://NEWS.163.COM

The rat, which weighed six pounds and had a 12-inch tail, was caught at the weekend in a residential area of Fuzhou, a city of six million people on China's south coast.

The ratcatcher, who was only named as Mr Xian, said he swooped for the rodent after seeing a big crowd of people surrounding it on the street.

He told local Chinese newspapers that he thought the rat might be a valuable specimen, or a rare species, and had to muster up his courage before grabbing its tail and picking it up by the scruff of its neck.

"I did it, I caught a rat the size of a cat!" he shouted out afterwards, according to the reports. Mr Xian is believed to still be in possession of the animal, after stuffing into a bag and departing the scene.

Just Another Day at the "Office"

Just another day at the "Office": Fully uniformed Kitchen Patrol Infantry exemplifying their Duty to Kitchen!


Spic and Span!